Holy F*cked #3


Here we are. 100 reviews in. While I didn’t stay at it daily, it was pretty darn close and for me that is quite an achievement. So like a comic book that reaches its 100th issue, or a television show that reaches its 100th episode, I thought I would talk about something great. Something that speaks to me. Something that is way past vulgar and fun as hell to boot. Here folks is the review to Holy F*cked issue 3.

This particular issue was a pretty fast read. In regards to story there is honestly not much going on. Hercules has kidnapped Jesus so Maria and the New Apostles set out to find him. On top of that, Satan’s water broke so Maria takes him to the hospital to have Jesus’ baby. (If there is a god, I am going to hell.)

This issue was a bit of a disappointment. Why? In the previous issue, we’re introduced to the New Apostles, Cosmic Moses, Mother 2resa, The Secret Pope, and The Holy Spirit. The setup was built in such a way as to make them appear to be quite the bad asses yet we find Hercules make pretty quick work out of the group. It was sad in a way too because reading the previous issue, I had images in my head of all the story possibilities that could be opened up with these new characters. There could have been a Justice Deities of America group! The possibilities were endless as to what religious figures and beliefs could have been lampooned and yet we find the New Apostles are made to have one fight scene and poof, they’re gone. Now, it’s a comic. There are any number of ways the characters can be brought back. I plead that they find a way to do so…just not in a prequel because screw prequels.

Don’t get me wrong though. The reason for the disappointment has nothing to do with my enjoyment of the story. To me, it’s about the possibilities for stories that are kind of wasted here. This is a fun issue but more than anything, this really felt like a place holder sequence to get us to the finale in issue four.

The art work was great once again. One thing that will end up hypnotizing you if you’re not careful is Hercules’ nipples. Apparently they’re mood nipples because they grow or retract based on the mood he’s in. The title of the issue on page nine was drawn reminiscent of Robert Rodriguez’s work on Machete. That’s kind of how I picture this comic. If you pumped Robert Rodriguez full of mescaline and LSD and gave him orders to tell you a Bible story, this would be the end result. And the world would rejoice in praise.

Bottom Line:

You will enjoy this issue. Don’t mistake my critique for not enjoying this issue. It’s funny as hell and makes me want to see how everything ends. Unless they find a way to resurrect the New Apostles, I do think it is a shame they were done away with so quickly because there is so much potential in those characters. I mean, who wouldn’t want to hear more about Cosmic Moses’ journeys playing basketball in Mount Olympus? Hell, have the four land in the middle of some crime ridden suburb somewhere in America and have them kick ass Charles Bronson in the 80’s style.

In a lot of ways, this issue reminds me of Cannon Films from the 80’s. I recently watched a documentary on Netflix about that ol’ great movie company that made so many bad films. Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films. Watching that movie really perked my interests up in regards to finishing up the Holy F*cked series because this really comes off as a wonderful satire of that type of movie. Yet these guys, Nick Marino and Daniel Arruda Massa get that they’re making satire. They’re crafting the words and the art just right to build up to what will be I am sure a wonderful finale. If not, at least we’ll have Hercules’ nipples.

Anyway, I’d like to thanks folks for stopping by my site on a somewhat regular basis. This is a pure labor of love on my part and I do feel like I am learning a lot. My goal was to examine comics through the eyes of a writer, seeing what I feel works and what ultimately doesn’t. Since starting with Silk #1 on August 27th of this year, it’s been quite an education over what makes comics work as a whole. I’d always neglected art. I knew what I liked but never really put much thought into it. Reviewing comics like I have has made me much more critical in regards to what is actually going on in the scene on the page as well as appreciating that sometimes work that on the surface may seem simplistic like the work in Holy F*cked actually goes a long was towards increasing your enjoyment of the story. Much like Mike Judge’s work on Beavis and Butt-Head, on the surface you have two characters making fart jokes and not doing much but Mike was brilliant in terms of how he built up to a joke. Mike Judge’s writing and animation is a lot like good sex. It is a slow build where the laughs get bigger and bigger until you reach the end of the episode you’re laughing so hard you have a mess to clean up. Nick and Daniel’s work on Holy F*ck and Holy F*cked have worked much the same and it’s been a pleasure discovering such great work. I just hope they reconsider the fate of the New Apostles. They have a world they can build from this.

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